Fix it, Jesus

It has been seven or eight years since my last blog post. Until recently I had forgotten that I'd ever blogged at all! This morning as I pulled up my blogspot account I realized that I had three separate blogs from back in the day (pre-infertility years) that were still alive albeit highly neglected! I had one for my spiritual ramblings (The Minuet) one for my fashion photography career (Chasing Daylight) and one for cooking (Wood & Wine). I have been having so much fun looking back through those blogs trying to understand who I used to be pre-infertility, pre-high risk pregnancy, pre-mom. I suppose I could also say, who I used to be pre-suffering.

I don't even recognize that girl. I look through her images and read her words and I have a faint recollection of her. Something about her is familiar and I long to know her more intimately. I miss her. She is still a part of me deep down in there somewhere but the years and experiences have added so many layers to her that she's quite deeply buried.

This morning, however, I hear her voice. It's faint and muffled by the layers on top of her but I hear her enough to feel like she is a part of me this morning and I'd like to record what she's saying.

Here we go...

I was listening to a podcast recently (Risen Motherhood) and the guest author was Jen Wilkin. She was speaking about bible literacy in women and I was highly motivated to do as she suggested which was to read through the entire bible one chapter at a time in order to work on my own bible literacy. I've read my bible daily for many years but not in the way she suggests which is to read the entire bible word for word in it's proper order.

I started doing this at the end of last year and I am still only in Genesis but I've been making crazy new observations! Things I have never noticed before are leaping off of the pages and I am only on Chapter 29! Jen Wilkin says that most people read the bible and try to apply what it says to their own lives. They try to figure out what God must be saying to them personally. Mrs. Wilkins encourages people to just read it in order to understand who God is. I love that.

This morning what hit me hard and made me laugh is that there is so much tomfoolery in the early pages of the Bible!!! It is hysterical! Jacob marries and sleeps with the wrong sister, Isaac blesses the wrong son, and Abraham lies to powerful men telling them that his wife Sarah is his sister! There is so much deceit and trickery! It's worse than a modern day soap opera! But how did people fall for it!? How did they not know they were being lied to? How do you marry and sleep with the wrong sister especially when the right one is way more beautiful? 

I'm sitting here this morning in my rocking chair, coffee in hand, staring out the window in New York City wondering how in the world people written about in Genesis were so easily fooled. Could it be because there were no lights back then? Was it always dark? Could it be as simple as that? I suppose it's possible that they didn't even have fire at the time with which to see by?

I know I'm not supposed to try to apply this to my life but I can't help it. I'm thinking about the extent to which I can be lied to and deceived if I'm sitting in the dark.

Fix it, Jesus. 

Stay tuned because the old KSW might have more to say...

KSW