I just returned from a creative trip to Paris where I spent 24-7 with a makeup artist and two hair stylists. Since being back, people keep commenting on my "Parisian Makeover." It's true, they parted my hair down the side rather than the middle, inspired me to wear more makeup and encouraged me to dress up more often. However, that is only the exterior makeover that was done.
From what I've heard, women traveling with other women can be a bit scary. My friends who have traveled together typically come home with horror stories about each other and how they would never travel with that person again.
I feel the opposite. Traveling with my good friend was like holding up a mirror to myself and seeing things for what they were. It was painful. It was incredibly unpleasant and at times I thought to myself, "I am never traveling with a girlfriend again." However, upon closer inspection, the Lord was using my friendship with her to reveal things to me that He wanted to expose, extricate, soften and heal.
I am going to do the hard thing and list these things, only because it is fun for me-these are things that the Lord will need to work out in me. It is not daunting or stressful, He will do this in His time. He is giving me a makeover and he's the expert so I am just going to choose to sit in His chair and close my eyes as he softly applies more of Himself.
1. The way I share my opinions about art, food, architecture, movies, books, music, etc...is extremely harsh usually using words like, "hate, eye-sore, disgusting, ridiculous, I can't stand, horrible, terrible, stupid, etc..." In this I run the risk of hurting the feelings of others who happen to like those things. I know this to be true because I have heard this from my sister Gretchen but just assumed she was too sensitive. Now I know this is something that the Lord needs to soften in me.
2. When someone attacks my character, I need to be very careful not to attack back. Within that attack I will say things I regret. Even though it's hard, hold your tongue. Wait until you've had the chance to settle, cool down and prayerfully consider your response. I learned this the hard way!
3. Don't cut people off! Let them finish their thought...I know I do this to my husband all of the time. He hates it!
4. Stop judging people's hearts and give them the benefit of the doubt!!
The Lord revealed to me on this trip just how much and how often I was getting offended by people based on my own judgments. I am trusting Him to give me a new grace and mercy for my close friends and family and to assume the best about them.
As you get closer to certain people it becomes easier to see their flaws. That is when friendships get hard. What I learned this week in Paris is that if you are honest with yourself and honest with others, you can learn some things about yourself and your friendships can really grow.
On the other side of the pain of confrontation, is a deeper, richer friendship and a personal makeover that makes you look a bit more like the makeup artist Himself.
KSW
