Childlike

Childlike


I was visiting my good friend Erin Kiernan Frigerio in Peapack New Jersey this weekend and we spent some time with her two beautiful nieces Eliza and Macy. After polishing off some ice cream and letting them style my hair, we found ourselves in the backyard singing “Ring Around The Rosey” while playing on their wooden swing set. Eliza, the elder sister (about 5 yrs old) suddenly looked up at me with big questioning eyes and said, “Are you an adult or a kid?”

This was not the first time that a child has asked me that question in the last few years. When I told my husband Seth about it he said that kids often ask him that question as well.

As we age, I believe it is much more difficult to remain childlike than it is to become an adult.

Naturally, our broken hearts, our loss of loved ones, our unfulfilled desires, unmet goals and unlived dreams all add to the fine lines between our eyes and smile-less mouths. We get used to the disappointed solemnity of adulthood. We settle in to exhaustion, burnt out, pessimism and boredom as we become addicted to books, movies, games, shopping, drugs, alcohol, etc in order to escape our adultness.

I remember about 6 years ago when I realized that I was an adult and I made a difficult decision.

I set out to get my heart back. I asked the Lord, “I do not know how to do this Lord, but I’m trusting You to do it in me. Please heal my heart from all of my disappointments. Take what is dead and make it alive again!"

Ezekiel 36:26 says, "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."

I’ve spent the last 5 years allowing God to mature me into childhood. It wasn't easy. There were many people I had to forgive. There were lies I had believed about myself for many years that I had to stop believing. There were people I had to stop spending time with, places I had to stop going.

The easiest part of growing into a child for me though was that it was the Lord who gave me my heart back, I just simply needed to rest and abide in Him as He did the work of healing in me. He brought the right people into my life, He opened up opportunities of healing for me. He also revealed the hurts and the anger that I needed to deal with and he gently did this in His perfect time.

If you've lost your heart along the way and if adulthood has taken away your childlikeness, just pray this simple prayer of faith, "Jesus, give me my heart back!"

And watch Him...

KSW

Psalm 91

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God,
in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness (my version says His TRUTH) will be your shield
and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Amen!

KSW

Uncircumstantial Happiness

I remember about 6 years ago when I began my photography business, I would rush out to the mailbox everyday in hopes that someone out there had mailed my payment. Always having just enough to pay rent + bills every month put me in desperation mode every day at about 12:15 in the afternoon.

I was dating a guy at the time who would remind me every so often, "Kristen, I'm concerned...it seems that your joy is based on whether or not there is a check in your mailbox." He was right! I would come back from checking the mailbox and my entire sense of "well being" would be visibly shaken!

It's been a few years since then and my financial situation has greatly improved, but there are still those circumstances that have the power to rock me to my core.

There are things that I want in this life that are not coming to me right away and every so often, my circumstantial joy rears it's ugly head.

Typically when this happens, my husband Seth will tend to ask me, "Babe, are you ok?" Could it be my huffing and puffing around the house as I'm folding laundry? Could it be my grumbling under my breath as I wash the lunch dishes? Could it be the way I sulk-ishly walk him to the door as he leaves for work?

How do I get rid of the dark cloud?

Sometimes worship music works. I've been told that worship music is a way to spiritually cleanse your home. Other times, it just makes matters worse because I can't relate to it at the time.

One thing is certain, my circumstantial joy has a common thread. When I'm busy, tired, burnt out and haven't had much time in the word, I am much more prone to fall prey to CJ.

When I am rested and taking time every morning to read and pray and meditate on truth, I am completely unshakable.

Sometimes I am away on vacation or visiting family and friends and I think, "I'm just going to rest and not do too much reading or praying." When I do that, CJ gets me every time! You'd think I would have learned by now.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning when I can rise with the sun and get myself grounded in truth.

God is good.

He can be trusted.

His timing is perfect.

He knows my desires even better than I do and He promises to meet my needs as I seek Him.

He loves me.

His will for my life is perfect.

Oh, that I may abide in this truth...I have so much to be thankful for.

KSW